urgh.

i'm in a slightly pissy mood cause i can't reach who i want to reach and well basically; that person isn't reaching me back either. it's fricking irritating. so, i choose to vent my pent anger on the blogs; annnd all you readers. bare with me, my loves.

isn't it idiotic;
when you actually take the initiative to console someone, when they feel down or whatever? as seen in their msn nicks or blogs; and they don't FRICKING THANK YOU for it. i mean; it's from the goodness of your heart, and you shouldn't expect a single return, but a form of reciprocation goes a long way. what's worse is when the totally emo person doesn't even FUCKING reply your msg.

it's like.
"eh, don't sad lurh, you're above that okay, take care. one day you'll look at this and realise it's so silly and blah blah blah whatever nice things benn can think of."

AND THE PERSON DOESN'T FUCKING REPLY.
it's so annoying. it's like talking to a wall, and being kind to it. can you bloody imagine?

"hi wall. are you okay? i love you. :D"
RETARDED. YES.

granted their in a mood as bad as it is, but for cheering up their day, don't you at least deserve a little recognition or 'consolation'? it really doesn't pay to be nice, does it? i really should learn to toughen up and only blossom to those who actually bloody care for me. i really appreciate all your presence guys especially - amanda, yq, zhen, suzanne, nyk. you guys rule. hugs. (:

sometimes, i really say things i don't mean to say; and i type things i really don't mean. i know everything matters, and once you said it; nothing can revert time. i sincerely hope if i've hurt you guys in any ways. please forgive me, i apologise. all of you matter the world to me, and i want to keep in touch with you all until the day i die (hahah, don't reject me lurh. pls.) i'm still benn, but do tell me if i'm doing something wrong. i'll correct myself. you guys matter the world to me; everyone i know AND CARE ABOUT. (cause apparently, this isn't reciprocated with everybody as assumed; gosh. how naive huh?)

back to being bitter again.

"hao ren you hao bao."
yeah, right. karma. good people all get cancer and die early.
(you say probably cause they can go heaven and enjoy and whatever; no comments.)

----------------

case 2!!

i saw this
'wide eyed, contacted,
'blonde and rebonded haired,
'long black fake pre-attached toenail wearing,
'super duper short miniskirted,
'assumingly fake-falsetto sounding

girl that day, cuddling with her boyfriend on the mrt. no, they wern't snogging, but whatever; i'm not talking about etiquette in public anyways. so basically; she, if seen; would usually be classified under the typical proclaimed 'twit' category. but boy oh boy, do i hate stereotypism. so lets forgo the twit factor and how they type, and progress more into people like her; without having to group and name names.

(seeing some people who dress like that can be very intelligent and not necessarily type in a pre-determined manor, take pictures with pre-positioned styles or sound typically high.)

ANYWAYS. the main problem i had with her, was her [assumingly fake-falsetto sounding] VOICE. gosh. granted it itself can be sometimes used as a powerful tool for the female specimen to grab the male species' attention, it can sometimes be seen as overly 'teh' and highly annoying.

okay okay. for those who actually SOUND that way, i guess you can't be blamed; but there will be a definite solid group of people, who actually speak in a horribly bad high voice; that in all their pretence, think it sounds very real and believable. sad to say, it doesn't. however they do it, i applaud them; cause it's no easy feat. probaby clench their oesophagus and try to croak out a high pitched sound or two?

bearing in mind, if taken in appropriate amounts, it would be tolerable. but the thing is, the fact that their doing it on their own accord; and worse; FAKELY. perhaps, they'r on the road to improvisation; if a voice like that can be considered as 'improving' your appearance and outcome. but i guess they have to be applauded for painstakingly going through what they do, in order to make it a habit to speak like that. trust me. trying to speak like a girl is already making me gasp for air and leaving me with a horrible sorethroat, let alone speak in a fake high pitch.

perhaps, we really have to look at them in a different light? or not.

okay what i'm saying is, just be yourself. if you speak like that; speak like that. don't specially cock your voice to a certain pitch just to follow a specific trend or seek specific attention. NOT NECESSARY. perhaps voice does matter, or not; whilst doing sex; but no- noone's gonna ditch you if you sound horrible enough. afterall, it's the inside (or outter appearance even) that matters most right? lol.

whatever.
i don't really know if this section of the post even makes sense.
i don't really know if i got my pt across... but can't be bothered anyways. zz